Can you believe my doctor said this to me? Bereavement issue.?

I lost me mum 6 years ago.I never grieved, and carried on with my life.All the time i got more and more irrational, directing my anger at friends and family, to the point where they were gonna ring up a mental ward.All along i didnt realise i was stuck in grief, i thought of everything but that.So approx 2 months ago i started going cruse and i feel 100% better.She says theres nothing she sees in me that she doesnt feel like she can fix.You dnt know how great that made me feel.Now i relax! Summit i havent done in 6 years.I asked my doctor ( the same 1 who has never recommened me for any help) for a sick note the other day , as i was having a particulary bad week ( but nothing compared to pre-counselling days, at least now im depressed but grounded). Her reply was " i think you are kidding yourself if you think counselling will cure you, you have the personality that will get stressed anyways, so you will always have the demons". Can you believe that? After all the progress i had made??

This definitely shouldn't have been said to you. This unfeeling android doctor only saw the money you were giving and not at what you needed. Every one deals with grief differently and sometimes can take a long time for this to surface and for it to end.
My Dad died in 1991. It was on Christmas Eve. Even to this day, I still get quite upset about it as we were very close. We have similar interests and sense of humour.
If anyone said this to me, I would tell to feck off, this is being polite. I would change doctors also. It is great that you are making progress and do not need words like that from a professional. Emotional needs are just as important as physical needs. Physical scars can heal but emotional needs can take a really long time, if ever, to recover from..
I do hope you over come your grief, one thing is you will never forget your mother, and love is much stronger than death.
I think of my Dad alot, and just laugh at times at what he use to do and say. He was a funny and generous man.
Best of luck......

..only time will tell whether you or the doc are right. Sorry about your mom

Report the Barst*d!!That is not on.

That's terrible, move doctors.

How rude i cant believe she actually said that
Report her for her unprofessional manner hopefully she will get in trouble and think twice about saying anything like this in the future

He shouldnt of said this too you, you are delaing with it which is great news and making progress that maybe should of been done before but all that matters is you are now getting there. Go and see another doctor 2nd opinion on this matter. Maybe you will always get stressed but he still shouldnt make that comment.
Well done for dealing with this tho, and moving on slowly. Your progress is great and cruse is a huge help.

that sounds like a very unprofessional thing to say,,,,,,, many are helped a great deal by counseling,,,,,, even if your particular type personality was the kind to stress over small things (and your mothers passing isnt a small thing!) counseling can still help with dealing with the stress and how to handle it

She is not a shrink how would SHE know what personality you have ???
I would change doctors this person is very unhelpful!!! And to tell you that you will aslways have demons what a load of rubbish everyone has demons that is why counselling is there in the first place.
Change your Doctor and get some better support because that ain't cutting the mustard

Most unprofessional. I wouldn't bothert gracing his practice anymore.
You might want to report him to the medical board for comments unbecomming! This is a doctor who has no empathy or who is willing to help bolster support for his patients therapy.

Move on and leave this clown behind

Cheers

If you feel you need to make a complaint about your GP, then you can write to the FHSA in your area and they will deal with it. Just beacuse they are doctors, it doesn't mean they can get away with saying things like that.

for your doctor to say that was totally uncalled for. and wrong. it sounds to me like you have made great strides and should be congratulated. change doctors immediately. i say try not to worry about the opinion of a doctor who was obviously having a bad day. she was so wrong. good luck.

Your doctor obviously doesnt understand your needs at all i think counselling is a fantastic way to work through your problems and find your own coping mechanisms. I would report the doctor involved and request a move from that doctor

Yes I can believe that because.....I returned to england on a long haul flight and had terrible pains in my legs on the flight as if someone was pulling my legs off . The captain wanted to divert the flight to a European capital but luckily the pain suibsided (only to return again later but this time I kept it all to myself.) so when I landed at the airport went straight to the hospital and had to wait about 4 hours before anyone saw me. When I eventually saw the doctor I asked him "Was it DVT?" his answer shocked my daughter and all the teachers in her school. He replied "HOW DO I KNOW?. I WASN'T THERE!"

That's awful. I'm not sure who you can complain to about that but i would make sure when you go to the docs in the future you don't see that one. My granny suffers with colitis andafter her last bout my uncle asked the call out doctor "how long before she's empty?" (meaning how long before she stops having the runs) and the doctors said "when shes dead!" How rude is that! I would definitely report your doc.

Go and see a different doctor. Some doctors are sensitive to the needs of mental health and some are not. I saw my usual doctor for years and just had to accept how I was but then someone suggested I go to a different doctor so I did and he was much more helpful. He recognised what I was feeling and helped with sick notes / therapy / self help etc. Good luck

To be honest nothing surprises me. Some doctors are like that. I know how it feels to lose your mother. My mother died in her sleep (her heart just stopped) and we didn't even know she was sick. That was 10 years ago and I go through everything you said. Though 5 years ago my Dad died and I did grieve for him a bit but I do think counselling can help though I didn't get on too well with the counsellor I saw. Change your doctor.

losing a loved one is hard on life and i wish u well get another dr.

Everyone must grieve and there is no fixed time on it neither is there a starting time. It is very good that your process has at last begun, it will make you feel better and perhaps it will uncover other issues BUT you are on the right track and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Maybe you need to re evaluate your whole life, you may be living a stressful lifestyle..change..relax...get a different Doctor..it's a New Year think positive and Good Luck...you WILL feel better.

Yeah, that doctor sounds like a real winner...., I definately think you should find a new one. Not sure what "I started going cruse" means, and who this person is that says she can fix everything is? You need to type more clearly, but I am assuming you are recieving counseling now? And have made progress? Assuming that those assumptions are correct, then perhaps your doctor is mad that you went behind her back?

At any rate doctors are supposed to be supportive and be postive that there is hope, even if it isn't much there is always some hope. Good luck with your struggles and find a better doctor.

Seriously, I would make a formal complaint about your doctor. What she said was out of order and unprofessional. Contact your practice manager and tell them that you wish to make a complaint. It isn't too late to do so.

Sorry, we only have your side of the story. Perhaps your doctor knows much more than you've been able to relate to us.
Grieving is a long process. Until you are able to be grateful for what you do have and no longer dwell on what you do not have, you will continue to grieve excessively.
My condolences to you on your loss. I sincerely hope you begin to heal soon.

Make a complaint. That's totally out of order and unprofessional.

OMG! Get a new Dr!

Everyone is different and deals with things differently. I never thought I'd need to see a counsellor and now I find I am after going to see my doctor.

Don't let it get to you, Dr's are only human and can get it wrong equally as much as the rest of us. I'd also mention it at your next counselling session.

Even though Dr's are entitled to personal opinions, they are meant to professional and sensitive to needs of the patient no matter how bad a day they are having. I'm sure it's in breach of professional conduct or something. Do you feel it has hindered your progress enough to make an official complaint logged against her?

you will have demons if you keep her as your doctor.
if counselling doesnt work why can you get counsellin for everything an sundre these days. please keep up your positive mental attitude the counsellor has helped you get back together with and dont listen to the doctor. you can already see the difference in your self something the doctor wont cos your only going to her for a sick note.

Medical doctors are trained in medicine. They don't know it all. The comment was unprofessional. Labeling you without proper training is un-ethical.

Report the doctor. Find a new doctor. Try counseling. Sometimes the help we need is talking it through.

Sorry to hear about your mom. My Mom died when I was 11 years old. I did not deal with it when I was a child. I came to terms with so many years later in my adult life.

You will be fine. Just keep working at it. Thats what your Mom would want. She would want you to live your life to the fullest.

nobody knows your progress but you, so you shouldn't care about words like that.
deep inside you you may be still scared that you'll get back to where you were or that you're not making enough progress but you are...trust us!!!

You should get a second opinion, then you need to fire your doctor and find another one.

Unbelievable,,, she sounds like she is the one who needs therapy. some Dr.s have no bed side manor. at your next session you need to let her know how you felt when she said this. after all the sessions you had with her she should have known not to say something that might push back your progress.. see her one more time to let her know what she did and then my suggestion would be to find a new therapist... good luck and don't let her set you back!!!

Yes, I can believe it. I was told by my doctor that "I'm a woman of many problems".