Why can I not achieve balance in eating right?

here i sit, feeling myself revert to old ways of starving my body because of anorexia, and ask myself, why does it have to be like this?
I mean, this feels all to easy. sitting here, not eating, not feeling hunger pains...

I'm either like this, or constantly waiting for the next meal/snack to arrive. I always restrict though, because before i was anorexic i think i have binge eating disorder... used to just sit there constantly eating.

I wish I could live healthily and feed my body without obsessing over it or allowing it to get in the way of living.

i don't understand.
please help me.
cos right now, i'm falling back into oblivion.

You may have an unhealthy relationship with food. Seeing it in all the ways except what it is suppose to be. Maby you see it as an enemy, maby a friend, maby a no-no, or use it with emotions. What ever the case, Food is meant to nourish our bodies, and help us have energy and live. Look at everything you eat like this, Asking is this going to nourish/help my body/ looking at it like this will keep you from binging on cookies/ and junk. Because those items have no nutrtional value. When your tempted to not eat, think, i need food to live, what will nourish me?

Its developing a healthy relationship with food, and all in moderation.
ive been there done that. now i am a personal trainer who just wants to be healthy and strong.

this is what i did. i ate my meals until i was saciated (idk how to spell that). its when ur not hungry anymore, but your not full. trust me. it works

perhaps you haven't got a great life, not much activities lined up? when you feel bored, you'll start looking for food. and when you're not feeling fulfilled and satisfied, you try to look for indulgence.

you need professional help not mine best wishes