How can I help him deal with so much pain?

My BF is so depressed, his heart is broken & just wants to give up. He has had so much pain in his life, so it's been hard getting close to him but I'm still here. Things were pretty good for him/us, but then in the last year: his good friend's sister died, then his grandma died (she raised him), he then lost his job and could no longer afford his apartment so moved back with his mom (she later moved out), then a friend who's like a brother to him died and another friend's mom died. With all this, he has kids to take care of, two are in his custody, AND he is like "the man" to everyone else in his family. Whenever anyone needs ANYTHING (errands, $, whatever), he is the one they turn to, and he just can't tell them no.

I'm there for him. He talks to me and tells me what's bothering him. I hear him cry over the phone so much it breaks my heart too.

Any advice on what to do to help him get some hope/sunshine back in his life? He hates doctors, so that's out of the question for now

first, try to comfort him as much as possible, talk to him, help him get his feelings out. then you could take him out and do something fun like a mini vacation together. you could go on a road trip on the weekend or something. Just try to get his mind away from it for a little while. it could help a lot. good luck, i hope he feels better!

Go to GNC or a nutition center that sells vitamins for all different types of things. Ask the nutritionist there to help you find vitamins to make him happier.

it may be "out of the question for now" but it really needs to be at the top of the list....he has way too much on his plate and there are ways to feel better through some medications and/ or therapy that will help him be able to deal with this stress..I lost 5 family members in 18 months...on top of other things....and there comes a time when you just need help...spoke w/atherapist for a couple of months to help me put things in perspective and order and it helped so much...if you love hm, you will see that he talks w/his doctor and that they review his options on how to get feeling better....do it soon

hi
As a good friend u r feeling Appriciated
Let him cry to redue the mentel pain leave him for a minite
then use morral supporting words
tell him u r with him
he is not allone

God is with us
Tell him to wake up in early morning and pray the God(sun)
Automaticaly he ll recover
Regularly discus with him
Sambomahadeva

Your BF needs a lot of support at this time and it sounds like he is despressed - and with good reason. Get him along to an appointment with his GP (try to go with him if he will allow). A course of anti-depressants or a talk with a good counsellor / therapist may assist him in the interim. Sounds like you are a good help to him, so without taking on too much yourself, try and encourage him to partake in activities that he may enjoy. Hang in there, as time is really the best healer and do not be afraid to seek counselling yourself if things become too much. All the very best.

It may be next to impossible to solve the problem without some help from a physician or psychiatrist. I'm just throwing these out to you ...so you can think about it

Look into getting him on an anti-depressant (SSRI or Tricyclic) such as Paxil or Amitriptyline.

(I don't suggest this unless you have no problem with taking medications. Some want to avoid chemicals at all costs.)

Maybe some grief counselling would help him deal with loss of family members.

Some physical activities or relaxation techniques may be helpful for the other stresses in his life. If these don't work a doctor can probably prescribe an anxiolytic/tranquillizer such as Clonazepam or Valium.

Education for family members on depression and how to deal with stress may benefit all.

Good Luck !

Let him cry and let him laugh and let him come to you when he wants to talk do not keep asking him about this stuff. Give him a break, he needs time and things will get better, help him find better things to think about, if he comes to you do not judge him and listen to him is all he probably wants or needs. Don't try to fix him let him ask you for help and then do what he ask you to do and that is all.