What advice would you give a teenager who wants a baby?

I have been feeling incomplete. I'm seein this guy and things are going great. we've been together for a while. And we both share the incomplete feeling. While we know that we should wait until after high school we both have been thinking about having a baby. I'm a virgin but he isn't and so therefore the whole thing would be new to me. I'm also worried that my family might think less of me. My boyfriends mother has offered to take care of everything if my mother kicks me out but at the same time i want to share all that with my own mother. What should i do?

Feeling incomplete is part of being a teenager, sorry to say. I felt incomplete too so I had sex with my boyfriend and got pregnant. I was happy at the time but realize now how it would have been in the real world. I had a miscarriage by the way, not an abortion, but am glad things worked out the way they did. You won't finish high school (don't delude yourself into thinking you will, sorry to be so negative). You and your boyfriend, if he's still around, will fight. Your friends will all turn legal age wherever you are and go out partying but you won't be able to afford it because you'll be working a minimum wage job and won't be able to afford a babysitter. Think about what you want...you want a baby for YOU, and really you should want a baby for the child's sake, to be able to provide everything neccessary (as well as a bit of spoil) for your child and that just won't happen. Don't get me wrong I have baby-fever in a bad way, but am 21 and my partner and I just bought a half million dollar home. Once we're settled into that and financially secure we'll start thinking about adopting (I'm unable to conceive), because we know we will be able to provide for our child properly at that time. I'm not knocking women who had babies in their teens, and some do overcome the odds and work incredibly hard to become the best parent they can be and succeed, but it's just that that odds are against them (and you) to start.
Get out and enjoy being a teenager, it's going to be rough but believe me every single person your age is feeling the same thing even if they don't say it aloud. Find things you enjoy, be it playing video games, going hiking, etc. My friends and I still have what we call 'adventure days' where we look at our city from the perspective of a tourist and go do all the things we take for granted (see the tower, museums, cultural centres, etc). I would strongly suggest that you can learn a lot in a day and it's always exciting!
Please think about the long term consequences and ask your parents what responsibilities come from bearing children. You don't need to tell them why you're asking, say it's for school if you'd like. The average (not spoiled) child costs over $100,000 dollars from the time they are born to the time they are 18 (then there's college to pay for, and those costs aren't getting any lower). I hope you make a thought-out, informed decision.

Don't!!!.. finish school, get a career, party and travel the world. there is plenty of time for you and your bf to have kids..

WAIT! You are too young. I am not saying you're irresponsible, but as you grow older you become wiser and more knowledgeable. You have a lot to learn about so many things and as you experience different issues, mishaps, just anything from everyday life you grow and learn. You are not at that age where you have done that so how can you guide a baby in this life? And just bc you feel incomplete does not mean go and get pregnant. Don't you want to go to HS, be a kid, then go to college and travel, be married to someone you love and then have a baby?? Once you have a baby your life is put on hold and it is all about the baby. Please talk to someone professional before doing this! TRUST ME!

yea..I agree with her. Who knows if your boyfriend will use you, abuse you, then abandon you? Therefore, you will be left a single mother with 3 kids.

A baby is a total burden, but it's all worth it in the end. It's sleepless nights, health care bills, and so much more!

It's not right for children to raise children. I think that you need to learn to love yourself first before you can love a boyfriend and a child. why would you want that hardship so young. that incompleteness is coming from inside of you. the answer is inside of you. and i promise you that a child will not fill that void. fill the void first by loving you and then start thinking about having children

well two things are running in my had.
1) don't have a baby right now get married, finish high school, work on having a baby your senior year maybe. or just wait till after college.
2) if its what you both want go for it. although i do say get married first. i know you want to share it with your own mother but she should understand and most likely she will come around. so think about. at least think about marrying him be for getting pregnant. good luck and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. what you two think is right for the two of you is what matters. not what everyone else thinks is right for you.

Wait you are still young. You should not being thinking of having a baby until your done with college. The pressure will get to you if you have a kid and dealing with school. College is way harder than high school... sure if you have a baby you can miss school and it might not effect your grade that much but college is a bigger and higher school and having to learn and take care of a baby also deal with parents will destroy somebody.... you also need to think about your boyfriend is he the one? The guy who you want to spend the rest of you life thinking wow I had a baby with him.... no offense if he is pushing you to have a baby, he might just want to do that and leave you with a baby all alone... Think about it.

You will never know if your boyfriend will leave you. I dont know how old you are but if you want a child then go for it If you think you can handle being a mom and everything Good luck if your own mother doesnt want anything to do with you if u have a child than deal with it. Its god plan to make you a mom. IF you think you can raise a child Go for it. Nobody parents who think less of you if you have a child. they should be happy that their child is having a baby. Just dont drop out of high school or anything finsh your schooling and stuff and hope for the best of things.! i wish you luck!

WOW. His mom is incouraging it. Honey, take it from me. PLEASE Wait until after High school, things are going great now you say. But what if you get pregnant and he turns his back on you and his mother tries to take the baby, you would want that and then what about your parents. I know there not ready for that right? I am 23 years old and have three kids, I am with my twins father but He is not living with me. It is very hard, He always tells me If I mess up or live in a Sh**ty place he will take the kids from me.......Live your life, but don't have babys right now, you still are a Baby.......Raising kids is hard very hard, if he loves you he will wait as well. Dont make a big mistake.......Good luck

How about this... wait it out... as teenagers we always get that sudden adrenaline rush to do whatever we do and to feel like o i want this... but as we start to grow into young adults and graduate from highschool, and maybe go on to college.. you'll go through so many experiences that'll make you wiser and stronger.. Dont let your dreams and fantasies get in the way of your life and career.. And even though yeah his mom will help mout with the baby and stuff.. well parents arent always going to hold your hand with everything. and taking the time to talk to your mom about it would be the best.. because thats the last person you would ever want to disappoint... you're still looked at as her baby girl and to think that you're having a planned child in high school.. will make her want to bring more responsibility on you all the while she still helps you out..

and then when there are parties and you want 2 go out and hang with your friends... having a baby would mean you need to give up some kind of priveledges to take care of your baby. Because no matter what anyone tells you... thats your baby and he/she is your responsibility...

Also, make sure your not doin it for fun... wait it out and learn more.. talk 2 some of your highschool friends and see what its like being in highschool with a baby....

hope i could help, and just make the right decision...

Think about all the things you will be able to provide your children after you finish high school, go to college, and have a well paying job. If you don't finish high school you probably will not be able earn more than minimum wage by yourself. You will have trouble providing for thier basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) let alone things like braces and cars. People who finish college earn 120% more then people who finish high school. If you don't finish high school how are you going to help your child with thier homework? How are you going to pay for your child to go to college? The farther you go with your education the farther your children will go. There has been some correlation between how far mom goes and how far her kids go when it comes to education. In other words a mother with a college education is more likely to have her kids go to college and get a degree.

Yes, there are many single parents out there who had children at a young age who have bounced back and gotten college degrees after barely finishing high school. From what I have seen it is a very tough situation and many of them needed support from thier families to accomplish that. They have to work hard and are under a lot of pressure to succeed.

Bottomline: It is better to wait so you can provide the best situation for yourself and your children.

babies are like tattoos.....they stay with you forever. i'd wait. you have so much ahead to look forward to.

look at it this way.....if your ready to worry about crying, diapers, food, rent, sickness....go for it. it's a 24 hour a day job, 7 days a week for the REST of your life.

relax. be a teen. babies come later under the RIGHT circumstances, ie, school, college, freedom, marraige - then babies.

it's VERY hard to raise a baby and do the above. dont do it backwards-a childs life is at stake either way you look at it....
"yours" or another human being.

The advice I would give you is find somebody that has a baby and spend 24hrs with that child. At the end of 24hrs I do believe you would have changed your minds.Baby's are not babydolls. They cry ....and cry...and cry..! If you like your sleep, forget it , your sleeping days are over. You will be getting up 2 or 3 times at night, and then if they get sick, your up All night. And they are'nt cheap either. Do you know how much pampers cost??? Why dont you stay in school, get an education and then when you are ready to have a baby you'll be able to afford one. I was where you are now and I wished I had of listen to what people were trying to tell me. Please listen!!!!!

Wait. Having a baby won't solve your problems, if anything it will make things worse for you. Having a baby is a major responsibility. Ask anyone who had kids really young. My mom had me when she was 16. She and my dad married but divorced 2 years later. Finish high school, get married, travel, than have a baby.

hell no

If you want love get a puppy. PLEASE i do not even know you, but I am begging you DO NOT HAVE A BABBY. You will love the babby to death, but i am afraid you will always regret it. PLEASE think about this long and hard. Don't just think for just now but think for 2, 5, 10, 18, years!

Wait until after high school, and go to college/a vocational school so you can learn something and get a good job to support yourself.
Think about it. What'll happen if you just have a baby now? Are you gonna still be able to go to school? Work?(and if you do, I doubt it's a good enough job). How are you gonna be able to support yourself AND your baby? Yea, I know theres your boyfriend, but what if he decides to bail out on you? And even if he doesn't, it'll still take the both of you and even then i doubt you'll be able to afford housing and whatnot. And you can't just live with your parents this whole time till you're 80.
Speaking of which, I doubt your parents will approve of your decision, or the rest of your family for that matter. Don't even get me started on school-even if you're used to getting picked on, it'll still hurt, or at least be annoying, to have all these people talking about you (if you drop out, then they'll spread rumors and eventually come to the conclusion that "omg, what if she's pregnant? slut!" even if your high school has nice people in it, they'll still think somewhere along those lines. And then all the school officials will get involved, and get on your case and stuff.
And, since you're a teen, there's the possibility of complications during your pregnancy. And when the baby is going to be born, are you gonna be able to face up to your doctor about all this and go to the hospital? You can't just have a baby and that's it. You might get infections and there could be lots of trouble for baby. If you don't suction baby out after he/she's born, baby won't be able to breathe. And if you deliver the placenta and it's not all there, then it could be still inside you and it could get infected.
You also mentioned your bf's not a virgin. Do you know if he has any STDs? If he does you could get infected, and pass it along to baby, or even if you get infected and you get scarring on your fallopian tubes, well you might get "pregnant"-the egg could be stuck in your fallopian tubes and baby could start growing there. Then you've got and ectopic pregnancy. Well, eventually baby's gonna run out of room ant the whole thing's kinda gonna explode so you'll be hemorrhaging and losing tons of blood and you could die. Back to STDs-even if you get your boyfriend tested, it can take a couple years after he's had sex for anything to show up on the test, and even then it could be wrong.
Sorry if I grossed you out and sorry for skipping around from topic to topic so much. Good Luck!!! And stay in school, I mean hey, if you're gonna live till at least 80, 18 isn't so long, is it? :)

get a puppy instead, a baby is permanent, there is no changing your mind ......

u r way too young to think about it!!