Whats wrong with me??? Bi-polar? Depression...?

OK, I been going through some crazy stuff & I am not happy. Since I was a kid I have always have a bad temper & anger problem. Used to be suicidial. Feel like I'm hopeless Stressed out w/ school & work as well as being a mom. Even though I have a baby now I sometimes don't see that she is making a difference with my life. Don't get me wrong, she's my world! I've also been so mean to my bf of 3 yrs. I get happy a few minutes and then depress and so upset the next. Bad thoughts about hurting someone or myself being hurt. Bad at having a grudge on someone. I used to be in 2 bad relationships that sometimes I still think about and hurts me but this current bf is so wonderful even though I am being an @$$. He takes care of me and shelter me. Pay all the bills. I am still not satisfied with my life. I tried counseling but doesn't work. I don't have insurance at this time. Do you know where I can get free therapy? What do you think of my symptons?

You probably just have really high anxiety and that can manifest itself into deep depression. I don't know about the bipolar part. You just are not happy or content with your life. You really don't want to know my TRUE belief of why you are going through what you are going through. Most will say it is a chemical imbalance that you have. And medically speaking, they would be correct. But it goes beyond that. I think you are just lacking true peace(not love or contentment). Because I know the love comes from your child, so you have that. But you don't have peace. You are just not at peace with yourself. That is the only reason why anyone suffers from depression. And prescriptions can make it better, but can also make you worse in the long run. BUT THIS IS ALL JUST AN OPINION. Now with the situation for free theropy. The only way I can think of right now that you can get free theropy is to apply for medicaid. If you get it, then they will pay for your sessions. But PLEASE, don't take any medications. Just find the right person to talk to. Hope you feal better soon. Sincerely!

Sounds like depression to me. There should be some free help in your state. look up SSI. They should be able to point you in the right direction. Hang in there hon. Life sucks sometimes!

Because I am associated with so many people with bi-polar and depression, you better (for your health) find enough money to go to a GOOD psychiatrist (an MD), not a counselor or even a PhD.......these illnesses take a lot of expertise that psychologists and counselors simply do not have. Please don't wait as your life CAN be good...........this rapid cycling of moods can be changed....God bless

GEt some help somewhere, isolation only makes these things worse. There may be some group therapy where you live. Check with the public health office.

It sounds like depression which can bring irritability, lack of interest in things, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, etc. I think it really helped me to go to the hospital in the outpatient program and start from square one to devise a plan to get well. Each city usually has a free mental health clinic. Ours is called Greenville Mental Health.

Call your local health department and they will give you the name of a clinic that works on a sliding scale. You sound like you have depression. Badly. And, you need to get some help so you and your family can be happy.

how old r u?, have you ever seen your regular MD for these symptoms? If no, try that, and in the mean time, been there, done that! when u feel u r going to blow, explain it to ur bf, and go some place by yourself, try to relax and figure out what / why you feel so sad or angry. try deep breathing to relax. if you can get to the source of your anger, you can start to control it instead of letting it control you. also, if you have a new baby, it could be post partum depression, it is very common to feel overwhelmed, and not know why, or how to let it go.

Since you gave birth to your baby, your hormones have been changing a lot. You could be suffering from post-partum depression, but the only to know for sure is to make an appointment with a doctor who will talk with you and then can either make a diagnosis or refer you elsewhere for help. If you call Human Services (under Government in the blue pages of the phone book), a case worker should be able to recommend free or sliding scale clinics in your area. Your pain is real and a doctor can help you alleviate the symptoms. Please get the help you need. God bless you.

For starters I'd do this. I tried it and it has helped me through some bad times, of course if there is an actual problem, this will help to identify it, or at least help you to see an even bigger picture.

Sit down and do what you would call "Day 1". Start by writing, you gotta do it as a hand written letter. Dont sddress to anyone in particular, just start writing your thoughts down. Its a healing process, obviously you have bee through some rough times with other guys f-ing you over, and now its probably hard for you to trust or something. I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you by any means. But whatever it is that you are feeling, just start to write it all down. The generic answer is to "go see a counselor, shrink, etc..." I think this is a good start. And admitting you have a problem is a good sign. Its ok, many of us are in the same boat as you.

Go to your local county health department, should be able to get a referal.

You sound like you have a mood disorder, on top of being a new mother. First there will be meds to help you get stable. The meds will help but will not cure you. The rest of it will be up to you to learn to control yourself and behave.

Good luck to you.

Let me clarify for you; Bipolar is in fact a form of depression (previously referred to as manic-depression) and you need to see a mental health professional for a complete assessment to obtain an accurate diagnosis. I can say that from what you are describing, you sound like you are indeed suffering from some common signs of depression, although their may be other serious issues that need to be addressed. Your suicidal and homicidal ideation is serious and you may need therapy and medication management consecutively. I am sorry you had a previously poor experience with therapy. Try another therapist and give it time. You may want to make an appointment with a psychiatrist as well as a therapist to rule out a need for medication. If you are actively suicidal or homicidal you could voluntarily check yourself into a mental health hospital for treatment; go to your nearest emergency room and they will admit you to the nearest mental health facility. You could apply for state benefits with your local government office if you do not have insurance and your income is low enough. They will give you referrals to sliding fee scale agencies if you do not qualify. The most important thing to remember; you must get help for your baby and yourself. If you hurt yourself or someone else, child protective services will intervene and you may lose your parental rights. Please seek help, take care of yourself.

Please disregard "Mitchell B"'s warning against medication, obviously he didn't learn from the Tom Cruise incident; anyone that is not properly trained should NOT give out mental health advice to a person in a vulnerable state; only a psychiatrist can give advice about the risks of medication. Please email me if you have any other questions. Good luck!!

It sounds like you genuinely want to get some help in your life to pursue some happiness. You have every reason to, and it sounds like you just dont have the resources or a good understanding of what you are even going through. I'm not a doctor, but it may be bi-polar disorder or just dysthimia, a mild case of depression, you are suffering from. First of all, if you're serious about getting help, I would set up an appointment at Easter Seals [2483726800]. You will get set up with a case manager and be able to see a doctor,psychiatrist, to discuss your problems and symptoms. These services are free, I know because i stared going there for depression a while back. You can apply for State Aid if your feeling stuck in your current situation or apply for medi-caid. When you are ready to talk to someone about internalizing and proccessing your bottled up emotions, they will offer funded psychotherapy sessions as well.

Well, it sounds like depression and stress. Make sure that you don't have anxiety as well. You've also identified some anger issues. Sometimes along with mood disorders, people also suffer from a personality disorder such as borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. Ask the counselors at school if they can talk with you. Another option is to spend the hour you would spend in counseling reading books on how to deal with depression, stress, anger and checking out various personality disorders.

Although I am not a therapist, my understanding is that most depressed people are treated with medication. This medication is prescribed by a doctor. There are other supplements that treat depression and can be purchased at a health food store. However, it would be best to review these with a doctor. You really need a diagnosis prior to taking them because if you are bi-polar, it can't be very good to be taking a supplement for depression. Some of the supplements that treat stress or depression are GABA, L-theanine, Kava Kava, Sam-E, 5-HTP and St. John's Wort. Some of the side effects are extremely serious and not all of these work for all people.

I have Post traumatic Stress Disorder and it sounds like some of its symptoms. You may also have bipolar disorder, I have that too. The part about getting angry sounded like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the part about being ocassionally happy sounds like Bipolar disorder. If you notice your mood shifting within hours during the day, than its called ''rapid cycling'', which is what happens with a certain portion of bipolar people. It just simply means that your mood changes at an hours pace, rather than a week(s) or month(s).

Free therapy really depends on where you live. If you live near or in a big city, there is probably a county hospital you can go to for a doctor and medication..it should be free of charge. To me, it sounds like you Need medication for these type of problems.. normally, they just don't go away on there own.
I live near Chicago: and Cook County Hospital is were people without insurance go to see the doctor and get their medicine.
You don't have to pay for anything - all you have to do is go.
Maybe there is a free clinic in your area - I'd search around for one. When I was living in Cleveland OH, I went to a free clinic several times.
I hope this helps you

FIND MONEY to get help before it is to late. Ask your boyfriend to help you out with the money problem. Make a deal with him. You know you need help and you know you cant do it alone.

go see a psychologist. and see about SSI. And that guy (speakthetruth) Who typed~~ you may lose your parental rights? NOPE !!!! I had depression for 8-10 years caused from my medicine. AND I WON CUSTODY OF MY CHILD !!! from having seizures. this is all in the court papers papers. GEEZE. WONT HAPPEN TO YOU ... even ask your doc. that question.

hi there ..it sounds like you have a possible Bipolar depression..and your past has alot to do .. with the way ,,you are feeling ..I would look to your county ..where you live ..explain your situation..sometimes the county can help you out ..to pay for mental health services...you want to look for the county where you live..Good Luck! i feel for you ..I have been having these issues for 19 yrs now ..and they seem to never get better ..my problem ..is being sensitive to side effects of different medications .

It sounds like you are frustrated because you are not acheiving your potential. You seem intelligent, and like you want to be a good role model for your child but you are not sure wear to start. Try getting out for a walk or some other for of exercise, taking a class at your community college (maybe they have daycare?) and trying to build a future.

Most communities have either a Medicaid ( income based) or sliding fee for those without insurance, check out the local health department for more info.

Thoughts or actions about hurting yourself or someone else needs attention.