Hello all.
My name is Martin Tyrrell; I am 22 years of age and have been with my girlfriend (20) now for just over a year.
Cutting a long story short, we鈥檝e known each other for years and I have always known that I want to spend the rest of my life with her (marriage family etc).
About 4 or 5 years ago she was diagnosed with PCOS and M.E and has been told by pretty much all GP鈥檚 that it would be near impossible to become pregnant.
Over the last month or so, my girlfriend has been suffering from the common symptoms of a woman who is pregnant:
Morning sickness
Breast pains / Swelling
Frequent passing of urine
The list goes on鈥?br>
So she decided to take a pregnancy test (clear blue digital), took them both on the first urine of the day (two separate mornings) and both have come back as positive.
This came as more than a shock to both of us because we are currently not trying for a baby. That and she had been on the pill
There is more, just trying to find out how to post more The next step we took was consulting her GP. This took place Monday afternoon, but all they could tell us was; she would need to book herself a blood test at the hospital. This has now been done, but my girlfriend is currently away on holiday for 4 days and the appointment is Monday coming (11th Feb 08). Though her GP did say to 鈥渢ake it as you are pregnant due to having 100% of the symptoms to suit鈥?
We still have not come to a decision as to what we will do if it does turn out she is pregnant, as we are both at a very early stage of our lives.
I personally am more in favour to keep the child as I am in a comfortable, successful career with a good salary (enough to care for a child) and want nothing more to be a father (my original intention was by the age of 25). My girlfriend is still to make a decision, but said she can not do this until we have been told she is in fact 100% pregnant.
I have informed my parents and they are over the moon with the news (much to my surprise lol) Hi Martin,
I'm 24 and have had PCOS since the age of 17-18. As far as I understand, PCOS can be quite manageable as far as symptoms are concerned. The effects on the woman's fertility differs from woman to woman though. However plenty of women with PCOS go on to have children with few difficulties. On the flip side, there are women who struggle to conceive and have to use fertility treatment, the outcome is varied I guess.
My point being, PCOS doesn't affect your unborn child, or the labour process. It's the getting there that PCOS sufferers find difficult. Here are some useful links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pcos
http://ezinearticles.com/?Can-a-Woman-Wi...
http://www.pcos.insulitelabs.com/PCOS-an...
I'm not sure about M.E. though, I've included some informative links concerning that, they are as follows:
http://www.mesite.dk/Symptoms.htm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/m...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fat...
http://www.meassociation.org.uk/
After reading through these links it seems M.E. wouldn't affect your unborn child, however it may worsen symptoms of M.E. for your girlfriend as quoted in the first link:
"25% of pregnant patients experienced worsening of symptoms during their pregnancy"
My advice would be to find out if the test is accurate, find out positivly if your girlfriend is pregnant and take the news from there. She'll be able to decide emotionally once the news is credible.
Hope this helps!
Fearne ^_^ I think if it was me, I would be thinking this could be my only chance of having a baby and would certainly want to keep it, but that's my opinion. It sounds like the pair of you have a lot to discuss and decide upon - good luck. False positives are highly unlikely, these tests are usually pretty accurate. Sit down and discuss it with your girlfriend and make a decision based on the fact that she's pregnant. The sooner you arrive at a decision, the better. You don't really have a lot of time to stuff around, waiting too long will mean you don't get to make a decision, it will be made for you! And she's not the only one to become pregnant with polycystic ovaries. Happens quite a bit. Dear Mr Tyrrell,
PLEASE, please keep this child as your own, through your parenting. Anything less is a ghastly thought. Your dear lovely girlfriend should certainly care for herself in every way possible so that the baby is healthy, though I am not a doctor and do not know the details about PCOS and ME.
May God bless you as you continue on this adventure. I will pray for every good success. If you are as yet, not involved in any spiritual matters, NOW is also the time to start. God is totally awesome, and His son, Jesus, the one who made my life change at age 26. Do the research and you will find a new horizon which is remarkable. Christ changed me and my husband in unfathomable ways for the better. May I wish it upon you both as well. ..wow thats a long long question ...
i think you need to wait and see, you don't definately know if she's pregnant yet,
falling pregnant is a huge shock for a young woman, i had my first at 19, which wasn't planned and my husband and i debated on aborting the baby, we decided not to as a joint decision and discussed how we could carry on and rase a child aswell as achieveing both of our personal ambitions. It is very difficult to persue personal goals when you have a child as they must always come first, but having a child is a wonderful thing, you need to support your girlfriend if she is pregenant and also if she is not .... as for the health issues ... i don't think you need to worry about them right now ... you have more pressing issues to discuss and decide upon ... this is important and life changing, i suggest writing a list of your own goals and ambitions, then writing a list of why you want a child and why you don't want a child ... and think long and hard .. a baby is a blessing ... they deserve everything you can give, but don't forget .. you also are somebody's baby, and you deserve the right to live your life too Are you sure she's actually "on holiday" and not at some abortion clinic? A positive result is almost always means you are pregnant.
It is not for me to tell you what you both should do, but if that was me i would think that despite the PCOS and the pill, if i still fell pregnant then it was meant to be.
To abort something which has happened against all odds, and then in the event she could not conceive in the future would mentally torture your girlfriend for life.
The decision rests entirely with you both (final decision with her obviously as it is her body), and i hope whatever you choose you can be comfortable with your decision.
* PCOS does NOT affect a child's genetic and mental development, and a woman can still give birth naturally.
* As for the M.E (is that chronic fatigue syndrome?), I expect she would be very tired during pregnancy, but who isn't? She'd need your support, which i hope you'd give.
Good luck to both (or all) of you. xx I have PCOS and have fallen pregnant 5 times. Admittedly only one successful birth. The others I miscarried.
It's not a decision to be taken lightly as a baby is there forever. It will be hard looking after a child so young. But hey, many have done it before and much younger than yourselves.
That said. If your girlfriend isn't sure, it could affect her for the rest of her life. If she has the baby and doesn't really want it, then she may resent the child. She had probably already got it in her head she would never have a child and come used to that. To now have one means her whole outlook on life will have to change. Be as patient and reassuring as you can be. I'm a great believer in that if it is meant to happen it will! Good luck. If i was in this position i would keep the baby. i also suffer with polycystic ovarys and worried that i wont ever be able to have a baby of my own and im 19. if i got pregnant i would keep the baby in fear it was my only chance of getting pregnant. theres no way i would consider abortion. but this is up to you, you have to support her decision and be there for her whatever she decides to do as its her body at the end of the day. talk to her about the risks involved, which im sure she will have been told or will be told due to the pcos. as far as i know it doesnt effect the baby although it can effect the pregnancy, you are more at risk for premature labour and miscarriage and most women end up delivering by c-section. although i have head of many women giving birth naturally to healthy baby with no problems. it effects us all differently. her doctor will go through this with her and she will be carefully monitored to make sure everything progresses well. if you think you can cope with a baby now and you can provide for one etc, then theres no reason why not but this is something she needs to think through with your support too. good luck and i hope you do keep it. It really sounds like this child is meant to be. Its really fought the odds!! Your poor girlfriend is probably very confused and scared now and she will be aware that this may be her only chance to have a baby of her own but on the other hand she might not be ready for motherhood.
I understand why you are asking people for their opinion/advise on PCOS but at the end of the day this is a decision for you and your girlfriend and you both have to be happy to go ahead with the pregnancy.
Don't be too excited about the regnancy until it is confirmed by blood test as if it turns out to be a false pregnancy you will be very disappointed and your girlfriend will feel inadequate as she will see how important a baby is to you and its the one thing she might not be able to give you. |
