I've just turned 18 years old, don't socialise often, and on holidays from college spend dayd doing absolutely nothing of any use, sitting in my house, not going outside for upto 2 days. I got a 34/50 on the autism Quotient test. I often find motivation difficult to come by. What's wrong with me! YOU ARE NOT AUTISTIC!
I am a child with autism. I am not "autistic." My autism is one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)?
My sensory perceptions are disordered. This means the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday life that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you, but I am really just trying to defend myself. A "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me. My hearing may be hyperacute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today's special. Muzak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough. A coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input, and I'm in overload! My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they're mopping up pickles on Aisle 3 with ammonia. ... I can't sort it all out, I'm too nauseous.
Because I am visually oriented, this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is too bright. It makes the room pulsate and hurts my eyes. Sometimes the pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing. The space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion, too many items for me to be able to focus - and I may compensate with tunnel vision. All this affects my vestibular sense, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space. I may stumble, bump into things, or simply lay down to try and regroup.
Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I'm not able to). Receptive and expressive language are both difficult for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*" Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it's much easier for me to comply.
I am a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is, "This will be easy for you to do." When you say, "It's pouring cats and dogs," I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me, "It's raining very hard." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres and sarcasm are lost on me.
Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused, but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation, or other signs that something is wrong.
There's a flip side to this: I may sound like a little professor or a movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits, because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, television or the speech of other people. It's called echolalia. I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using, I just know it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of patient repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day planner, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transitions between activities, and helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.
Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough or that I need fixing. Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however constructive, becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you'll find them. There's more than one right way to do most things.
Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply don't know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, I may be delighted to be included.
Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. This is termed "the antecedent." Meltdowns, blowups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented.
f you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts such as, "If he would just ..." and "Why can't she ... ?" You didn't fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you, and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I didn't choose to have autism. Remember that it's happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you I'm worth it.
It all comes down to three words: Patience. Patience. Patience.
Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates, or pass judgment on other people?
You are my foundation. Think through some of those societal rules, and if they don't make sense for me, let them go. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.
I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan, but with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They had autism too. go see a school psychologist or specialist. it is doubtful you are autistic, but you are probably of an introvert personality. seek counseling for help. naw cuz im lik that sumtimes u jus gotta find something that really gets ur heart pumping! First of all, from the way you described the situation, your question could just as easily have been, "Am I a pothead?" People with autism don't just sit around doing nothing all the time. In all actuality, they're often pretty busy with their time, obsessing over arbitrary hobbies, like Dustin Hoffman in "Rainman."
Incidentally, there was that one scene where he sat around in the pool all day and didn't do anything. But that was "The Graduate" and that was because he was depressed and overwhelmed. Maybe you're depressed. Or maybe you're just lazy.
Go running. You'll feel better, and you'll probably feel like doing things. Apart from taking online tests. If I were in the right mood, I could take a test and convince myself that I was 78% psychic or bisexual or the reincarnation of Dudley Moore. Even if you did have autism, there is nothing wrong with you. You are recognizing yourself and the things you don't feel are normal for others to do. Now you can work with yourself and ask how can I change the way I am.
It is pretty normal for students to come home from college and do nothing. I think it might even be deppression or lack of enjoyable people to be a round. Talk to your family and friends and ask them what they think and how you can become more social.
I work with people that have autism and I think they are the most wonderful people I have ever met. They are fun, creative, deep, humorous, and they see life in a different and fresh way. I don't see any of them as having something wrong with them, they just have a different gift to give the world. Autism is clear-cut, you just have an autistic spectrum "disorder." and by disorder i mean you were just made different and happened to be in range of people the same minds. Dear Ricardoxvii,
Even if you did not like to go out and socialize, this does not mean that you are autistic.
Even if you are anxious and did not know how to manage your time, it does not mean that you have autism.
There are various strict conditions that professionals use to diagnose autism. One of them is the DSM-IV, which is too lengthy to post here.
If you are keen to explore this, you can visit
http://iautistic.com/free-autism-tests.p...
One of the conditions is that you must exhibit autistic syndromes in your childhood. If you find that you probably have autism, you can ask the Autism Resource Centre in Singapore to help you. I have went through this process myself, so not to worry. They can keep your identity secret if you choose so.
Otherwise, perhaps you can talk to your college counselor or someone whom you trust. Sometimes teenagers have emotional mood swings and they just need some time to come to terms with their life and themselves.
Or perhaps you are merely trying to find purpose in your life. While people go through this process, they will not be satisfied by any material answer, including that if they are autistic or not.
There are various inspiring books written by many people. One of them that I personally love to share is Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversations with God" series. It was written by a man who is frustrated with God, and he wrote an emotionally-laden letter about his frustration. To his surprise, he got a reply.
I treat this book as philosophy, not religious material, and I enjoyed it throughly many years ago when I was in his situation.
And no matter if you are autistic or not, I wish you good luck for your life journey.
Always allow yourself to trust and believe that there are people who will listen to you and help you, no matter where you go and no matter what happened to you. You will definitely meet these angels. |
