How can we get help for a disabled person who is not elderly?

My sister is 42 years old and has various medical problems (no colon because of ulcerative colitis, auto immune disease, fibromyalgia). She is also mentally ill, in my opinion, although I am having trouble getting my father to face this fact. She has applied for disability but as yet has not been approved. She really can't take care of her house and herself, and my 77-year-old father is killling himself trying to care for her. (She lives an hour away and he drives back and forth at least twice a week.) She is stubborn and uncooperative in terms of changing this situation.
I don't even know where to start to try to maybe get someone to come in and help her out, or if there are assisted-living situations for people who aren't senior citizens or are not mentally retarded. She's crazy, but she's intelligent.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your help.

Miss Delaine--Thanks so much. We live in New York State; more specifically, Long Island.

Where do you live, sweetie? I worked in the field of non-elderly disabled care for 11 years and know all kinds of resources, but only in the USA.... Give me more location info. E-mail me if you wish.
EDIT- You could start by contacting Social Security Disability at your local SSDI office and explaining that you are seeking in-home care providers for your sister. In your local phone book there should also be a few pages devoted to "community services". In these pages should be a phone number for the Visiting Nurses Association (VNA) . They can provide consultation about benefits, services and assistance in the Long Island area. Failing those, try visiting www.socialsecurity.gov to find out about disability rights and services by state. I will wrack my brains and contact a few people about your sisters situation and add more info later. Good luck for now... --MissDelanne

Keep trying to apply for Social Security disability and low-income housing assistance for your area--so she can live in a place of her own.

That's about as much help as I can give you here. :0)

Good luck with your stubborn sister. I know how they can be.

I have two brothers and a SIL myself.