Pre-dying stage or Alzheimer's question?

My dad has COPD end stage & Alzheimer's (5th stage). Once in awhile talks about going home, he's in assisted living facility, to die. Freaks my mom out. I know one of the signs of the pre-dying phase is withdrawl from activities and this kind of talk. He has been withdrawn since he moved there last fall. Pre-dying withdrawl is within 2 wks of death usually. The hallucinations have increased this last month or so. He knows everyone and knows where he is but forgets it was part his decision to move there and does not recall previous conversations regularly. He doesn't remember saying these things but I am having a tough time telling the difference. I have studied up on both the dying process and Alzheimer's and they both present with the same symptoms. Any input would be great. My mom does not want to blow this off as the Alzheimer's then have him die in the facility. She would never forgive herself. She wants to bring him home but not sure if this is a ploy then refuse to go back.

He is better off in a facility, caring for him at home would wear out your mom. As his disease progresses he will not know you or anyone else. My mother didn't know me and I took care of her for 4 years prior to putting her in a nursing home. In the final stages she quit talking. She just had a blank stare. She died from pneumonia. I have worked with Hospice patients for years now. I care for patients 24 hours 4 days a week and another person is there 3 days. Last year I was with a man 80 with dementia--we kept all of the doors in the house dead bolted so they could only be opened with a key. He would walk around in his coat and hat and want to go home, he was already home. Your dad if brought to his home would likely want to go home in about 15 minutes--that's what mom would do--the nursing home was her home. Most of my patients live 11 to 12 days after they quit eating and drinking. Sorry for your dad sad to watch but try to remember as it gets worse they aren't really sad they think they are fine and the rest of the world is messed up. There are good meds for hallucinations and for anxiety that a doc might want to put your dad on if he gets worse. Be there for him and your mom.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. But you have totally put the willies up me. My nana has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers, like two weeks ago. You've scared me so bad.

If he can remember you then I dont think he will die within 2 weeks. Also if someone withdraws from normal activities like cooking and reading etc then my nanna is 2 years overdue. She still lives at home and she has alzheimers disease, she gets meals on wheels and then goes out for special days with an elderly group of people and have lunch and go for walks etc. She is going into a low grade assistance living in the next couple of weeks. Please let me know how your father goes and say hi to him from me

I can tell you thats not true. Ive taken care of a woman who haluucinates all the time who used to be ambulatory. Refusal to eat is a big sign. Since he is in assisted living he's not just going to give up and die on you. Once he gets moved into the healthcare center if you see signs like not eating thats a good indicator. Ask his nurse at the healthcare center she will be able to tell you. In fact dying in the healthcare center isn't as bad as one would figure. In ohio they have hospice who comes in once death is immenient and comes and sits with him 24 hours a day until he does pass. He would not die alone. Ive worked in a nursing home for 2 years and I can't predit heart attacks I can usally tell you when a resident is soon to die..

take him home and hire a nurse to come check on him like once a day. my great grandma died 2 years ago and she had alzhiemers and she died in a nursing home and none of her family was there i think it would have been better for her if she was at home surrounded by her family

No one knows for sure when two illnesses present with the same symptoms which one is affecting the patient. Your mom and the rest of the family needs to visit your Dad as often as possible and make him feel as "at home" there as they can. I don't think it's a ploy, it's just the illness. He's much safer with 24 hour care. Your mom can take care of herself at home and get her rest, then give all her loving attention to him at the facility.

Alzheimers is a horrible disease. I watched it take my grandmother, and I'll never forget it.

Look, don't be over-analytical about these things. As painful as it is, everybody will die in time. Just take things day by day and get what you can out of every minute.

Even if he's dying, he may be better off in the facility. You can--and should--visit frequently, but don't beat yourself up over him not being home. Just don't leave him there and forget about him, which I'm sure you'd never do.

Just remember that if he has COPD end stage and Alzheimer's, there's no ploy involved. He IS dying, and nobody can precisely tell you when.

I'm sorry for the difficult times you and your family are facing, and I wish the best for you.

God bless!

If he can remember you, chances are he is not in the final stages of Alzheimers. The 3rd stage is also called the Terminal Stage. He will not recognize you and your family and he won't even recognize himself in the mirror if someone shows him.

With Alzheimers patients it's always best to live each day like it's the last because the dementia can go from not bad to horrible within hours.

To me it sounds like your father is in the 2nd stage of AD which is the longest. Terminal stage usually lasts between 1 and 3 years.

I'm sorry your having to go through this. Alzheimers diease is very difficult to deal with. *hugs*

Do the doctors caring for your dad believe he is terminal and close to the end? If so, and you have the means to care for him at home until he goes, then bring him home. If the doctors don't think the end is near, then use your own judgment.