Alzheimer's care?

i take care of my 88 year old grandmother who has alzheimer's. i quit my job to help out and made an arrangement with my aunt (she has power of attorney, etc.) to work 40 hours a week and get paid $10/hr for it. i sit with her, do laundry, dishes, take out the trash, take care of her little yorkie, etc. i love her, but things are getting to the point where i don't know if i can handle it anymore. it's stressing me out so much, and i'm getting more and more worried about her needing more care than i can give. i really want to start looking for another job, but the feelings of guilt i have about leaving her alone are overwhelming me. on the other hand, i know this will force my aunt and uncle (my mom's on my "side") to place her in a facility where she can get the care she needs. i think my aunt is in denial ("she's not that bad") and my uncle has no idea what's going on, since he's hardly ever around. any ideas on what i should do? any advice or comfort will help:) thanks.

it's not that i'm thinking of myself...if that were the case, i would've quit a long time ago. i am thinking about the fact that i am only there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. so much can happen during the times i'm not there. that and the fact that i have been having so many anxiety attacks and nearly had a nervous breakdown becuase of the burnout that i had to go for an emergency visit to a doctor to be put on more meds. is it really worth breaking myself down to the poing where i can't even take care of myself?

Please contact your local Alzheimer's Association chapter and ask them about "respite care."
I think it is fabulous that you are willing to do this for your grandma, and that your aunt is paying you. Even if you decide you can't do it anymore, you helped for a while. So many people don't even do that much.
You are correct that something could happen when you aren't there. Probably your grandma needs round the clock care or at least supervision. Again your local Alzheimer's Association chapter can help you with that. They also conduct FREE caregiver training, which you would benefit from taking.
Perhaps some day you can invite your aunt to your grandmothers to "go over" her care and let her see how badly your grandma has deteriorated. Perhaps that will open her eyes.
I know it's tough, my dad has AD and my mom is with him 24/7 and I go over when I can and distract him so she can have time for herself.
My mom always said that there's a special place in heaven for hospice nurses, and now that my dad's got AD she said there's a special room there for caretakers too. I'll see you there someday, but until then you can contact me through my blog and we can share stories.

DONNO

OMG I just asked nearly the same question....I'll check your answers and you check mine. Good luck.

I HAVE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION WITH MY GRAND PARENTS BEFORE THEY DIED... I DID NOT GET PAID,,, BUT I HELPED OUT..
UNDERSTAND YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE ARE OLD ALSO, AND THEY LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY...
FIND IF THERE IS A LOCAL SENIOR CENTER YOU CAN GO IN WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER ON VISTING DAYS..LIKE GAME OR CARD DAYS, SO SHE CAN BE WITH OTHER ELDERLY.
ALSO GET ON THE NET AND LOOK AT THE NEW REARCH ON ALZHEIMER AND DIABETES... THEY THINK BOTH ARE CONNECTED ...

I CRIED RECALLING WATCHING MY GRAND PARENTS ..IT IS HARD WATCHING SOME ONE YOU LOVE AND ARE RELATED TO GO DOWN HILL....xxxxooooo

When you agreed to take care of your grandma, you already have the same guilt and concern for her. Now, you are tired of taking care of her and thinking of yourself, wondering what you would do if she passes, and so on. Those are natural and I too had the same situation when my mom had a heart attack. I was prepared to quit my job and take care of her. What I didn't get is why no one in my family understand what I was planning to do to make sure my mom is cared for. Do what you think is right. It is a sacrifice to take care of her. I told myself when she is gone what does it matter. I can do whatever I want and she has little time left in this world I will sacrifice my time to spend it with her. Look at your grandma and tell me you don't think about it like I did about how much time my mom has. I would rather waste my time with my mom thinking I did my best rather than regretting it later wishing she was still here and I can take care of her. It's your choice.

wow, this question really hit home with me, since my grandmother is in the same condition. Its so hard when trying to do the right thing when it comes to family, there last days and trying to keep them comfortable. I would try to express how your feeling to your aunt and uncle and see what they say, maybe they can get your more help, or split some of the time with you. If nothing else just know you did your best, you cant take from yourself to care for anyone else, if its going to take from you.