Helping my dad with Alzheimer's cope?

Earlier this week my mom passed away after a difficult battle with cancer. Until she became sick she was the primary caregiver for my father, who has Alzheimer鈥檚. The same day that my mom passed we placed my dad into a long-term care facility. We know that was the right choice for him, but he is really having a hard time coping with it. Every time we see him, or call him he begs to be taken back home. He tells us that he is a prisoner in a nut house and he wants out. I really want to make this an easier transition for him, but I don鈥檛 know how. Are there people out there that have gone through this situation? Can you please help?

I want to thank all of you that answered. It shows me that I am not alone on this. This is such a sad disease and it affects not just him, it affects all of us that love him. Thank you for your advice and experience.

First off, I know that it was a hard choice to make, but you did the right thing. The further the Alzheimer's progresses the more help he will need. Continue looking into more and more nursing homes. The one that I currently work at tries to some what separate those with the early stages of Alzheimer's from those with the later stages. For instance, they have two separate dining rooms. Those with the early stages eat in one together. In a way it is more homely for them. They are able to converse in relative quietness. The same goes for social activities games, crafts, and so forth. I have also seen through personal experiences that when they talk of wanting to go home, use terms such as they are on vacation and such. Sometimes it calms them. If this upsets your father stop using the term immediately. Also visit with him regularly, it will make your father happy just seeing a familiar face. From what I've seen one of the best times to visit with them is during meals. If you call ahead, some nursing homes will provide you with a meal so you can eat with your father. If not you can bring in a home cooked meal to share with him. Both ways will help restore a homey feeling to the facility. Best of luck.

My mom had Alzheimers. She passed away three weeks after we put her in a nursing home. There is not real way to help them transition into nursing home care. Just try and tell him how nice the nursing home is. And point out the good points for him. I am sure he is missing your mom a lot and that makes it harder for him. Put pictures of her in is room and just be there for him. I went to the nursing home four times a day and saw that she got fed, or I fed her. But your dad may not be that bad off. But just help with his needs and he will eventually get used to it. It is not a good time in anyone's life when they have to put someone in a nursing home and you have my deepest sympathies on the loss of you mom and the fact that your dad has Alzheimers.

I haven't been through that exact situation but I can tell you that my step father's dad has Alzheimer's and he lives with us. Its primarily my mom sister and I who take care of him. It is alot of work I can tell you that. He doesn't even realize when he just ate so we even have to keep an alarm on the refrigerator. I just wanted to let you know that what you are going through isn't easy but it is something that has to be done. Maybe putting some of his old stuff in his room will help the transition. Visit him and talk about stories of his past. That should really help his mood. Hope that kinda helps.