How do you know if someone is an alcoholic?

I think my boyfriend may be an alcoholic, but he doesn't exhibit all of the warning signs listed on alcoholism websites. He drinks every day, and can never stop with just one or two. On the weekends he will drink until he is trashed and often ends up passing out. And the next day he can never remember what he did or said the night before. He never gets violent when he drinks, but he does sometimes get beligerent. His grandmother is an alcoholic, so I know it runs in his family. I just don't know what to do or how to approach it. He works in law enforcement, so he's stubborn, tough and prideful. He would never admit he has a problem. What should I do? Please help. Thank-you.

The old AA saying is you're not an alcoholic until you realize you are one. I don't know if I agree with that statement. It doesn't seem to matter how many people the alcohol abuser hurts (emotionally, or whatever). Alcoholism is a disease. Drinking is the symptom. And once an alcoholic, always and alcoholic regardless of whether or not you ever take another drop of alcohol. You're in a tough spot. You're the only one who can figure out what to do. Nagging makes it worse but remaining silent enables the behaviour to continue. Sometimes, no matter how delicate and understanding you are when approaching such a sensitive subject, the other person still gets defensive. It's clear you love him very much. You could put it to him that way. Let him know you love him but that you are concerned for his health and well-being as well as for your relationship. Just remember, if he stops drinking just for you (if he can even do that much) he hasn't stopped for the right reason. He has to do it for himself. The man needs help, not just discontinuing the alcohol.

A realistic answer by straycat. Some alcoholic conditions are caused by a genetic fault (somehow an Irish connection gets mixed up with stories, but it could be a celtic problem). 4 pillules of a homeopathic preparation called Nux Vomica under the tongue several times a day as instructed on the bottle can take away the urge to drink alcohol and also improve sleep. There are no known bad side effects to this and it is available in health food stores or from homeopaths. The worst that could happen by trying it is a failure to break your boyfriend from the habit. To protect his liver it might be adviseable to take a course of Milk Thistle from time to time. Alcoholism also denudes the body of vital minerals and vitamins so a good quality multi vitamin and mineral supplement would not go astray.Good luck.

your info is definately a fact wriiten statement hes an alcolholic and let me tell you soemthing you have no future with this guy unless he changes alcohlism is a progressive disease

I would like to suggest you attend some Alanon meetings. Alanon told me that I do not have to classify someone as an alcoholic. If I am affected by someone else's drinking, I can go to Alanon. And I was definitely affected by my father's drinking. He only drank on weekends and held a 9-5 job all his life, so no one considered him an alcoholic, but I was sure affected by him drinking and coming home drunk, stumbling down the block while I was out playing with my friends. And we had no relationship because he was down the bar every weekend and that left my mother pretty much raising us alone (even though he was there physically). So anyway, try Alanon, it has made such a difference to me to be with people who feel the same way I do, or who live in similar situations. I no longer feel so alone.