How do i help my alcoholic partner ?

MY boyfriend and i have going out for one year. we are both single and we love each other. He is self employed and very hard working. He has a problem with drinking every year around october to december. when he is a drunkard , he becomes very violent. whenever he is sober i talk to him and ask him where the problem lies and he tells me that he is just overworked and nothing seems to work out for him. He has the feeling that he is doing everything by himself and nobody cares about him.
Last year he drunk too much and became violent .The neighbours called the police who inturn sent him to a psychatry center, when he came back home in january he was ready to work which he ofcourse did until now. "end of the month" ..where his nerves are completely to an end and he has turned back to alcoholism.

His mum is old and sick ,she is suferring from depression and all she wishes for is to die!!!

how can i help here. i do not want to do a bad mistake but i would like to help

You can not help an alcoholic, and yes, even though he does not drink all year round he is an alcoholic. They have to admit they have a problem and that they want to receive help. Forcing an addict of any kind to go to rehab etc. will not work. They often will go through the motions only to return to their ways upon being released. An alcoholic or any addict for that matter, will always place blame on others for why they drink or do drugs. This is not a relationship you should stay in. It will most likely become worse. You say he is violent when drunk. You will, one day ne caught in his ire. I have lived this nightmare with my father and later my husband.

throw away any alcohol in the home and get him into some meetings

get ahold of alcoholic's anonymous. They can get you in touch with Al-anon. Al-anon is for the people who are close to, or involved with an alcoholic. These people can give you the information you are looking for.

Does he drink the rest of the year or only between Oct. and Dec.? If it's only during a certain part of the year, it may be that something happened to him long ago during this time frame and he subconsciously runs away from it by drinking to excess. Maybe some counselling would help

Have his doctor prescribe him some antibuse. If he drinks it will make him sick. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Just remember, it's not your fault so don't let this change who you are. It is something that he will have to make his mind up not to do.

it's hard for an alcoholic to realize the pain they put their loved ones in but i'm sure that if you make him realize what it's doing to your relationship he may turn around, he may just not know how to deal with stress, but you should tell him that that is no reason for him to pick up a bottle...as for his mom you may want to take her to the doc and maybe he can give her some anti-depressants so that she will be less likely to hurt herself.

You won't do it but here's your answer - Leave him. Join Al anon, it will teach you what you should do and give you support to do it.
1 year, this is a boyfriend not a husband, and I hope you don't have kids together.... So just walk away. Look at what you have before you. An Abuser. An Alcoholic. He also sounds depressed and has major depressive illness in his immediate family.... Honey, tell me you studied Darwin in school. Survival of the fittest and all of that. Why on earth would you stay with this man, are these the genetic traits you want to pass on to your future kids????

I'm looking at these answers and I see several people have told you to bail out. That can be hard, especially when you love someone. I would definitely recommend Al-Anon meetings for you. Even if you start out doing some online Al-Anon meetings. Receiving information can be the key for you. Sometimes when we see a problem in someone, that doesn't mean they see it as a problem. Also, even if someone sees it as a problem, it doesn't necessarily mean they want to get help for it. You can give him information regarding AA meetings and the number of a local treatment agency, but you can't force someone to do something...especially if they're not ready to do it.