What makes people feel like they can judge me?

I have always been the poster child for the "perfect mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend....". My marriage went sour b/c my husband is an alcoholic. We had a lot of problems. I left. Still a good mother, friend, sister, daughter... Sunday school teacher, christian school, homeless shelter volunteer... you name it.. Anyway, I met a man that I fell in love w/ while separated. Our relationship didn't work out b/c he was so jealous and controlling. I decided I would go back home and try to make my marriage work since my husband would not leave me alone and cried everyday to my children. I went to a severe depression. Well, as bad as it is, I have started seeing the other guy again. I know, I'm horrible. Well, my question is- My mother has had numerous affairs w/ no emotional ties, she's abused drugs and alcohol, she was never there for me and my siblings (I raised them), her and my stepdad partied all the time and fought (physically) and I sheltered my sisters from it.

My sisters have turned out to be wonderful mothers and wives themselves. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety disorder and my therapist says it's b/c all the trauma in my childhood. I suffered the brunt of we went through and hid most of it from my sisters. I never had a teenage life. Now, today, my mother and my sister called me and told me what they thought of my situation and it wasn't very nice. They never call me and they live in the next county so I never hear from them. They called me bad names and told me that I was F###ed up. Well, who are they to judge? If I am all of those things..then I learned from the best. Do they have the right to judge me just b/c they are my family? I'm 33 years old and had 2 serious relationships in my life. I'm certainly no wh*re. I've only been w/ 2 people. I've tried to be the perfect person and one time I thought of myself and did something bad. Who are they to judge?

they do not have the right to judge you, but may feel they have the right, because you are having problems in your life now, and it is easier to judge someone Else's life, than to criticize your own. some people like to judge other peoples lives, when there's is going well, and get satisfaction, and a sense of well being ,from being critical at the other persons life. that is the last thing you need. you need compassion and support from your family at this time, not criticism . sounds like you are doing the best you can. just believe in yourself, that you also are human , and we all make some bad choices in our lives. at least you are willing to say you have, that is more than what i can say about your family. do not let that get to you, just do the best you can. being married to a alcoholic spouse can be abusive to you, just do not make the same mistake, and turn to a controlling and jealous relationship, because you may be lonely. you are worth having another relationship, if that's what you want, but wait for the right one. good luck to you, i can understand you are angry, and upset, so would i.

Nobody has the right to judge you. Until they've walked in your shoes, they should shut up.

I'm sorry, but what is your question?

The fact that they can judge you. I mean their judgement is just a personal opinion, and everyone is entitled to one of those. There judgement may be cruel, and mean and off the mark completely but thats their choice. It shouldnt affect you one way or the other.

They can't judge you, they can only advise you. Only God judges!

I don't want to Judge but.........

I always like that, "I'm not going to Judge you, but......."

anyway I think your question is way to long, I just got the drift of things, and I think.............(see I'm Judging you)

Everyone does it, free advice, Thanks but no thanks you can say to anyone that judges you!

Man its so hard not to judge other people. With that said, who gives a Cr@p what other think! Its your actions that speak louder than words.

Good Luck

Unfortunately it comes natural to humans. Our brains are programmed to "figure things out". We make judgements of people we see on the street based on what they look like.

It takes a bigger person to stop and admit they don't know exactly what its like to be someone else. They haven't experience the same events, and we all experience things differently even if we are part of the same event.

I believe that there isn't one written path for us all, so there is no point in regrets. If you need to explore a new relationship, and it makes you happy, then anyone who feels you should be otherwise isn't worth your time or thoughts.

Sadly you come from a family that is not very supportive, I know the feeling. My suggestion is to not allow them to hurt you. Don't take their calls etc.
Find people in your life (woman) who are supportive.

It sounds like you have been trying too hard to live up to standards of perfection no one can attain. They probably resent you for being so perfect and are thrilled to see you being not so perfect. Unfortunately people can be very self centered and hurtful like that. (All of us, at some point and time, judge others unfairly) Human does not = perfection, never has, never will except in the movies.

People judge but that does not mean that thier judgement needs to be your reality.

Today is the first day of turning your life around. You are no longer anyones victim . You are going a different path from your sisters but you are going to make more of a difference in the world than they are also.

i know what ya mean but im only 16... my family alway ******* judges me and yells at me and they just dont get me... they tell me im ****** up in the head and they dont do anything to help me and when i try'ed to help my self they said i was lying to the people and then turned around and yell at me for it. my sister told me to call her when i got my head fixed and that she did'nt want anything to do with me... then in to days she calls me and ask me if i would go to work with her and help her and she acted like everything was all fine.....anyway what im geting at is i hate how people judge you and acted like they never did ****...and that your a bad person and that nothings wrong with them and they act like their perfact. and they aren't!! Just keep on trying your best to the very best you, you came be.

Everyone has opinions about everyone all the time. It is just information not the truth. They are giving you feedback from a very unhealthy place. Consider the source ya' know? It does not have to have any meaning to you what they say. All that matters is what you think about yourself. Remember to be gentle with yourself. We all have lives full of up and downs, good decisions and bad.
It is totally fine to uninvite them from sharing their opinion of you. What they say is there responsibility, how long you listen to it or replay it in your mind is your responsibility. Write your own script for yourself and live by it.