Tubal ligation question?

I'm absolutely certain that I want to have a tubal ligation. I never want children of my own, and if in some alternate universe I change my mind, adoption would be better for society, anyway. My age (19) stands in the way of this, however, as most doctors refuse to do the procedure at this age.

My question is: How should I approach the doctor to better my chances of having him or her consent? I'm of sound mind and never want children; how can I convince the doctor of this?

Does no one else think society's still just a *bit* sexist, requiring husbands to sign off on ligations and such? We need to wake up.

Sadly, society is still inherently sexist when it comes to reproductive choices.

I can, right now, choose to go out and have two or three kids and might be commended for it.

But wanting to tie my tubes? I'm patted on the head and told "wait until you're older, you'll probably change your mind."

I will tell you right now that it is very difficult to get a tubal ligation under the age of 25. But I do know of women (mostly spoke with them online) who have been sterilized at age 20/21.

There actually are no *legal* requirements for a tubal ligation other than you being the age of consent (18) to sign a contract.

Most of what you hear ("must be 25 and have 2 kids" or "must be 30 and have 3 kids") are arbitrary milestones made up by the medical practitioners.

I would suggest...you look up anything and everything on all birth control and sterilization procedures. List the pros and the cons. Find statistics on women under 30 who have no children and are sterilized -- they actually have the lowest rate of regret. (It's women under 30 who have one or more children and then a tubal who are more likely to regret their sterilization.)

Sit down with your doctor and discuss the pros and cons of each birth control calmly and rationally. Tell her why you feel the way you do. Tell her you are as sure as anyone can ever be when it comes to reproductive choices. If it comes to it, as her "if I came in here today telling you I wanted to conceive a child, what would you say to me?"

Tell your doctor to make a note in your medical chart. Every time you visit your doctor tell them again that you want a tubal and ask them to put a note in your chart. Build a history. They'll have a harder time casting your desires in doubt if you've been calm and consistent throughout the time you've been with them.

http://community.livejournal.c...

You may be able to find some resources in that community. Also, some of the childfree sites on the web may be able to point you in that direction.

http://childfree.net

http://www.childfreebychoice.c... Report It

At your age I really dont think the doctor will do it unless theres some health reason.

You can't.

Statistically speaking, women who get BTL before the age of 35 are likely to want to have a post-procedure baby at least 50% of the time. The percentage goes up the earlier the procedure is done.

Doctors KNOW about this bizarre symbiosis between cause and effect, and also know that to reverse the procedure is costly, painful, and only about 40% successful (at best).

So based on these facts (and they ARE facts), you are going to be hard pressed to find a doctor who would be willing to even discuss this issue with you before you turn 25.

I would recommend using REALLY good contraceptive means for the next 6 years or so, THEN approach the medical community again, should you still feel the same way.

In my women's studies classes we discussed this highly controversial topic and we read a case study about a woman who wanted it done at 20, but could not find a doctor who would do it until she was 28. She looked and looked for 8 years until someone would do it. She really never wanted children, and still didn't regret her decision in her 40's.

I commend you for making your own decsions about your body. People are continuously going to try to tell you that you'll change your mind when you get older, that your biological clock will start ticking, that you'd regret it if you did it, and etc. Just remember that you know yourself better than anyone in the world knows you.

That being said, unfortunately, I don't think that there is much you can say to a doctor to convince them. Many of them are older (and men) and think that they know what's best for your life. (I understand they know bodies in general better than us, but they don't know absolutely what is best for each individual person's life.) All that being said, however, they also have the right to only perform a procedure they agree with, especially in this case, where if someone did change her mind, they could be sued (by someone claiming that she wasn't given all the information, or what have you.)

It's probably just going to take a lot of looking and a lot of time, like that case I mentioned above. Good luck.

And in response to your additional details: Do I think society is a bit sexist? Ha...there's an understatement for ya :)

You probably won't ever be able to convince a doctor to give you a tubal. I know you say you are of sound mind now, but you are only 19 years of age. We as women evolve constantly. The person I thought I was at 19 has changed so many times since then. I am 34 now and through time and experiences things just change. My advise to you would be to talk to your doctor about differnt types of birth control. Find the type that fits you best. And with age and maturity if a tubal is still what you want proceed at that time.

When I was 19 I didnt want kids either....at all....Then when I was in a committed relationship for a few years I started really really wanting one when I was 24. You are too young I think to fully decide and maybe you should get an IUD or something less permanent for awhile........Tubal ligation isnt even 100% effective anymore after the first few years.........

I don't think you can..... doctors have a mind of their own and they seldom budge. I lost twins back in 06 due to a lethal brain deformity. This condition (hydranencephaly) has no known cause and with me they couldn't be for certain if it would happen again. I've gotten nothing from doctors but unclear answers... and even docs can't agree with one another. Out of fear and frustration, I begged my doc to sterilize me. First he said they would, then he decided not to. He said it was a poor decision because I was too young (27 at the time) and I was doing it out of grieving. Now I'm pregnant again (just one this time) and I've been extremely depressed. I didn't want another baby after what I've been through. Had I found out sooner I would have terminated. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do now and I have considered putting the baby up for adoption... I just can't handle it.
More than likely your doc will suggest an IUD such as the Mirena. I would try it out.... then "pretend" to change your mind and demand a tubal. I wish I would have taken this approach..... then at least I wouldn't be pregnant right now. I really regret this baby..... I really regret not getting a tubal....

I know that people do change from 19 to when they're older. But does that mean you'll change how you feel about this? Who knows! Like the people said above, I'm not sure there is much you can say to convince someone to do it.

i agree with you on the whole subject i am 20 now and want to get one done too but i have been told by every one that they wont do it. but is it legal to not do the procedure when the patiant asks for it is my question.