Why should I marry. Been there, done that. Should I again?

I am involved in a relationship with a beautiful woman who wants to get married and have children, but, I feel that the way she is approaching it is simply the wrong way. She has constantly reminded me about getting married and its鈥?to the point where I am really feeling a lot of pressure from her. She also wants kids which places more pressure on me, already having 3 children from a previous marriage. It鈥檚 gotten to the point where I don鈥檛 want either because of all the pressure she has put me under. I have let my feeling be known to her, in regards to her putting me under a lot of stress, with the hope she would back off a little, but to no avail, she starts up again. These constant discussions have landed us in big arguments and not too far in the past, separations. Earlier in the year, 6 months into our relationship, I had a vasectomy done because she concerned me with constant discussions about having children. We actually separated and instead of living with her girl-friend, she moved in with a man she barely knew and had sex with him on a few occasions during the course of our week long separation. During this time I stayed home trying to get over her. Days later we were back together again.
She has called doctors offices in an attempt to get my vasectomy reversed and has even insisted that we get married in March without delay, at the same time I was made aware from my ex-wife that the discussion of marriage around my 8 year old daughter has made her cry on occasion and that concerns me. My fianc茅 has told me to get my kids to stand in our wedding (at the JP) so that they can be involved. I told her that I don鈥檛 think my children are ready so they won鈥檛 need to attend. She insists that thy do. I explained that the emotional welfare of my kids is important to me and that I would not do anything to make them feel uncomfortable. She was still insisting stating that if my kids wanted nothing to do with our marriage then she would not want to be involved with them either. My kids are 8 and 6 years old. I told her that she is not a parent and would not understand that it is not that easy to just make them go and say everything will be ok.
She has done other things to concern me like her attempt to commit suicide when we got into an argument and I decided to go to my mothers. I got a call from her girl-friend stating that she was in the hospital and I went to go see her. She stated that she threw up her pills but by that time the police had decided to take her to the hospital anyway, in which case she was released after 3 days of evaluation.
Another situation was when I was working for a hospital. A majority of my work was over the phone and computer and since I was skilled at both I was hired. When my fianc茅 needed attention, even while she was at work, she would call repeatedly to my office. It got to the point where I was warned that anymore personal calls, except emergencies, would lead to disciplinary action. I informed her of what had happened and that she needed to stop calling. She would call anyway stating that it was an emergency because she needed to hear me say that I love her or sometimes she had something to say and she didn鈥檛 want to have to wait till I was out of work. Well, I eventually got terminated from the best job with the best group of people that I have ever worked with. That job and the insurance it proved helped me with the removed of a brain tumor that was found in me. I was also upset that with that job I provided the best health insurance coverage for all of my kids. I told her that she didn鈥檛 only hurt me but my kids also.
I am so confused because I don鈥檛 want to hurt her. I care about her but I don鈥檛 feel that I am ready for marriage. She is so intent on having children stating that she is getting older She鈥檚 32). Other concerns are that she has been married 2 times before; she has had 4 abortions and 1 disease in the past. I told her that she would need to see a doctor to see if she can even get pregnant but she insists that I have the vasectomy reversal first. I feel so pressured and the thing that bothers me is that she knows about it but tells me that she forgets or that she is sorry because she gets carried away. I don鈥檛 want to face that for the rest of my life. She totally freaks when anxiety sets in and it makes me uneasy because of her odd behavior when she is in that mode.
What do you think? What is your opinion?

And you thought you were miserable in your FIRST marriage.

Why are you even asking this question?

What do YOU want. Obviously you don't want this right? There is your answer. Walk.

You can't worry about hurt feelings.

She is not respecting your feelings or the feelings of your children.

Do not walk away from this woman . . . RUN away from her. If you do not, this will be your life. She will control every aspect, you will not see your children, you will not be able to work, you will eventually resent her and the children she forces on you.

Get out now and save everyone some heartbreak. Do not let yourself be sucked back in her manipluative tatics.

Yea, really...walk! You will end up resenting the money the wedding will cost and maybe even the children you proceed to be pressured into having if you let her pressures sway you. This lady sounds immature, selfish, manipulating and bossy. Is this characters you appreciate in a woman?! Enough said.

I'm a bit confused as to whether that was a question or a novel/soap opera plot

ABORT! ABORT!

Don't walk. Run! This chick is bad news! How can a person who wants children have so many abortions? There is definitely something not clicking and any person who calls YOUR doctor to have your vasectomy reversed is plain old crazy! Where does a person get off? Especially if she's not even your wife!!!!! Isn't there some law about privacy on that?

Sounds like alot more problems to come. I was in a marriage which i felt my children were not excepted like they should of been it really hurts, but you will never find true happiness with this person if she doesn't except your children as a loving parent should even if they would be her stepchildren.I would definately get out of this relationship because i know for a fact it will cause you grat pain not only for you but your children.

I didn't even read the whole letter because your problem isn't if you should marry again or not. The question is do YOU want to marry THIS woman? Don't let her tell you what you want ect... The only question is do you want it? And it doesn't sound to me like you do. If she loves, and respects you, she will understand that you don't want to/aren't ready. And if she accepts this, it might actually give you the space to feel like marrying her. IF she doesn't respect your feelings and wishes enough to understand, and accept this. then I think we both know what the problem is because do you want to spend your life with someone who selfishly neither respects nor cares for what you want? Think about it.