What's the best way to destroy a narcissist?

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my soon to be ex. wife. i realized she was a narcissist. she was wounded as a child by her mother. however her mother still has control over her. she's a child in an adult body. we married and blended familes. she had a daughter and i had two kids. i knew the pain for the kids and us about not working out. she obviously didn't. she was engaged twice before me and her daughter went through multiple fathers. she told me you're the only father she will ever know. then she left. she's a narcissist. i stood up to her crap. she wasn't strong enough to move away from her narcissistic mother. now her daughter is paying the price as well as my 2 kids. she's been doing this for 10 years and everybody cleans up her messes so she just moves on. her mother is so narcissistic she wanted the marriage to fail. they say the best way to make a narcissist realize and grow is to expose them. outside she projected the perfect woman. she had DWI's, abortions, and broken relationships that nobody questioned. It was oh you pick the wrong guys. Wrong! I finally exposed her to her parents. The ones she was afraid of. All the stuff they didn鈥檛 know only the poison she told everybody to get sympathy. Now she鈥檚 stalking me every morning. I鈥檓 the parent she never had and she鈥檚 mad as hel@. They say punish the little kid in them then love them for it because they never had that when they were a kid. I鈥檝e had no contact with her for 3 weeks though after she left. What should I do considering she鈥檚 a narcissist? If you don鈥檛 know about narcissists, don鈥檛 answer. You wouldn鈥檛 understand what they need or what you need to do so they can experience true love. They never had it and it鈥檚 foreign to them. I don鈥檛 want to destroy her but just her false self so she can love. How to do that? I really need answers from the therapists trained in this.

GOOD GOD!!! THERE'S EIGHT FULL PAGES OF QUESTIONS YOU CONTINUALLY POST ABOUT THIS ....

This what? Novella?

Looking at alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll... the questions you've posed in the last day regarding this situation....


Get your story straight. I'll help you.

A) You and your wife decided to abort your baby. "She" got an abortion. Dude, when you're a married couple, you both get an abortion.

B) She freaked. You freaked. You got physical. You, of course, are not to blame that you "had" to physically handle her rather than remove the kids for a while.

C) She packed and left. She e-mailed that she wanted a divorce. She has not since followed through. You have done an equal amount of nothing.

D) She went to her brother's house. She has not emptied out your bank accounts -- a narcissist would, you know. They'd deserve everything.

E) She drops her daughter off at the house next door so she can catch the school bus every morning with her friend and classmate.

F) She waits at a convenience store every morning. You ignore her and drive on by while complaining that you've had no contact. You continue to choose daily not to make contact.

E) In ten posts, you've done nothing but trash her. Abortions, DWI's, drinking problems, mentally ill, broken relationships, multiple fathers for her daughter...ad nauseum.

F) In ten posts, you've done nothing but tell us what a stand up guy you are. Taking care of the kids, "cleaning up all her messes" The two that are left, buddy, are YOUR kids.

G) You said that you'd "given your name" to "her" daughter, but you never refer to the child as "our" daughter or "my" daughter.

H) You "exposed" her and now you want to "destroy" her.

I) You've relentlessly hounded everyone's attention. Post after post after post in the Question section. Day after day after day.


How pathetic are you?


One of you is the narcissist. Looks like the pot calling the kettle black.

Tell her she's fugly.

Get over it and move on.

You have to realize that you your self can not change her, and by you attempting to ruin her will cause you too fall into the pit that you dug for her.


I glanced at your question and your wife does not seem to be a narcissist, a narcissist by definition is a person with grandiose beliefs about them self's with no evidence to back it up, they commit violent crimes like rape, domestic violence, and they are very predatory.. they tend to be crankter's and alcoholics.

your wife seems to be troubled and depressed...but don't try to do some sort of intervention on your own seek a professional...

I am not an expert, but I am in a similar situation. From what I have read in books and in discussions with my therapist, it is almost impossible to cure / change a narcissist. Her parents are the ones responsible for her condition, too, so that makes it that much harder for them to fix it. Her narcissistic personality makes it hard for her to find her own flaws and face them, so even therapy is supposedly rarely successful. After some research, I have found out that I most probably can't help my ex and have let it all go. I suggest you do the same, a battle around exposure of her lies and her web of deceit and who is telling the truth - you or her - will only consume your time. People who know you and are dear to you will believe you and stand by you, the others don't matter anyway.

Walk away and don't look back.