Depressed. I'm no good at life, no good at my job.?

Growing up, I was constantly teased for being different. I had dyslexia and ADHD and I was always untidy. I was lost and had no one to turn to for help (or so I thought). My parents both died by the time i was 18.

I'm in my early twenties now, and I've tried turning my life around. I'm in school, and I have a job. I try really hard at my job, and I've been there a few years. Everyone there knows me well. On my recent evaluation, I got a mediocre score. I was so devastated. I've never tried so hard before in my life for recognition (having never got any previously), and...I've fallen flat. I'm devastated. I deserved recognition, but the review didn't showcase my true colors. I spoke up, but got nowhere.

I want to quit my job. All I do now is cry. My job was my life, and even though I have a social life, its not fulfilling. I need to fill this gap. I need to find someone to appreciate me. I need a mentor, but I can't find one.

LOL...I can hardly believe some of the ridiculous "answers" I've seen to your question. The one word in your question (although there doesn't really seem to be a question at all) is "mediocre". Society, especially western society, often imposes delusions of mediocrity on average people. That sounds to me like what has happened to you. My advice: get into spirituality or philosophy...it could really refresh your view of yourself and the world for the better. Seeing a shrink or psychologist won't help. It's just a waste of money and will probably cause you to end up taking brain damaging pharmaceuticals...

aww if you ever need somebody to talk to im ALWAYSS here.

The fact of the matter is is that your life is not over until you tell your self it is. I feel for your pain and it's completly self derived. As long as you keep telling yourself that your going to keep standing up after falling down you will. As for that void in your life try somthing new every one has a special skill that they find that comes easy to them. For me its my science class find yours and the kind of respect that you deserve will come from there

About the job thing - I feel the same. I feel that I just suck at the jobs I've had and I don't know if it is because I have this huge responsibility, but I ust keep trying to find something I do like and am good at.

Bosses are a holes.....period...don't look to your Job to feel fulfilled in life..Even though it gives you a sense of purpose it's not what determines who you are and your happiness....
I would suggest getting a girlfriend and trying to make a lasting relationship maybe marriage...Life is full of good things even-though the bad seems to weigh more sometimes....keep your chin up and find another job...maybe something that helps others in your situation..

I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Take a break, I think you are overly stressed and have to much hanging on your shoulders. Live a little have a little fun. Go out clubbing with some friends take a short but relaxing vacation. If it doesn't help go to the doctor and talk to him/her. It might help. Its tough to deal with so much on your own. Don't quit your job though not unless you find one you like more, and don't worry about scores. As long as you do your job to the best of your ability everything id fine. That is what really matters. As for finding a mentor I don't really know how to help you. Maybe you can talk to some close friends or what you can do is find a penpal. I'm sorry I can't help you more, but I hope this helps.

**************LogicalGoth*************

Don't dispair. I have found in my 20+ years on the job that most bosses don't appreciate the work that their employees do even though it makes them look good. When it makes them look bad, then they take action. A mediocre review isn't bad. I admit that it could have been better, but I gotta tell you I'm in the same boat. I feel like I've been working hard and doing well and got a medium review. We have Exceptional, Fully Satisfactory and Unsatisfactory. In my mind, Fully is mediocre. It means I'm doing the job, but not excelling. You and I know better. If we weren't there doing our jobs the bosses would be "up the creek". Send me an email and we'll talk about mentoring. I'll at least listen to your concerns. You're doing well to be in school and working. Don't let the review change you now.

Your job is not your life, just something you do to make money. That is all. Quit it if you do not need the money. Mediocre is a lot better than doing poorly or being fired for doing it badly.

The employee does the least amount of work to keep from being fired and the employer pays as little as possible to keep the employee from quiting. Albert Einstein was dyslexic. Before his theory of relativity was proven months later, over 100 top physicists said that it was nonsense meaning that he is an idiot.

You have a purpose in your life. If you go against it, you will suffer. It is to feel perfect peace and limitless happiness. See site below and see what top psychologists have learned about this and learn all about how incredible you really are.

Work evaluations really mean nothing at all. You have been in the job several years and you know you do a good job. Often the supervisors/managers that do the evaluations keep them low key and don't dish out praise. Ignore it! Hold your head high and think how well you have turned your life around.

You sound like a survivor! Don't let this minor set back destroy all you worked hard for. Give your boss the middle finger (not literally) and hold your head high and continue to work well.

so it was your part time job beside your studies..........
well you have to fight your life-battle alone, at this moment you should still stick to your studies and may quit the job , if it is very necessary then you can take up other part time jobs which you can adjust with your study time and don't loose your hope.
and at this time you may not get someone by your side, you should be good at your study first, try leads to sucsses, best of luck

those evaluations are total crap. when i worked in retail for a while i would get lousy reviews but sales reports always showed that i produced fat results.
customers and other employees got along with me and it would seem there was no other reason to push a lousy review other than to justify lousy wage increase recommendations (upper management imposes pressure on line managers to keep business costs down and labour is a massive chunk of the costs that can be manipulated).
a university lecturer i know said that awarding grades is a subjective procedure.
in other words personalities and favouritism play massive roles in the results you can expect in any evaluation.
additional to subjection, it seems to me that some evaluers perceive that some types of people will try harder if robbed of worthy recognition and i would suggest that your evaluers could well have decided that ripping you off might be a great way to get you to perform even better (for their own gain).
so many people out there are so selfish they wont even consider the effects a dishonest review might have on the reviewee except to think about their own gain by having done it.
just because some joker gave you a bad review doesnt mean you deserved it. disregard it and find something leisurely to do that will give you something positive to think about while youre doing it.
remember: work just pays the bills!

See depression treatments, at ezy-build *(below) in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, as well, at http://www.mercola.com and avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2). The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read the whole section. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments", including others as options, such as herbal remedies, Inositol, or SAMe. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even many weeks to become effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them). If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at * http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels. ~~~ Also see study tips, and memory improvement, in sections 13, and 41. For someone with your disadvantages, getting a mediocre result is quite good, so I'd be happy with that, but also use it to spur me on to do even better in future: find out the areas in which you didn't measure up, and work on them: ask for advice.

typical boss, if they admit your doing well then they have to pay you more. keep your head up I'm sure some one you work with appreciates you

Neo, this is one of the few stories I've read that made me feel up with emotion. Don't give up because of what's going on at work. I'm sure your parents are looking down from heaven ,so proud of you. Your parents would't want you to give up.Jesus loves you and things will turn out better. If you need someone to talk to I'm here from time to time. God bless!

Well, I'm sorry for your parents..... After you came all this way, do you want to quit? This isn't the time to quit on your LIFE!!! If you can't get a mentor, get a boyfriend to lift your spirits! Always try and try, keep refusing to go down on your life....... Quit your job and find a better one! Well, that's your choice, but......Anyways, you can't back down now! Keep going! Just keep going on, walk on dudet! Don't give up! Trudge on to the end! Confront your boss, tell him how you feel!!! Women are not supposed to cry, are they not? Your boss is a stinky-ugly-idiotic retard who doesn't take you into consideration! You only have one shot at life, so why waste it on crying like a baby?! There's your friends out there waiting for you! Don't sit around the house crying! Go outside, hang out with your friends, play, and exercise! Play baseball, basketball, anything! Get a hobbie! Join a club or a team! I'll always appreciate you! I'm only a ten year old boy, though. So your probably think I can't be your mentor because your 20 and I'm 10. When you were little, why didn't you stand up? If I were you, I would have beat the bullsh*t out of the guys who teased you! Start cooking lessons! Start cooking dinner for your friends! Cook! Get a Wii, for goodness sakes! Anythings better than sitting around crying! Count money! Make big plans for the future! Strive towards them! Once you start something, never give up! You have friends, and the rest of your family! Come on, you can do better than what you're doing right now! Your twenty, for Pete's sake! I feel like you, and I know how you feel. I've fought my way through! When I was in grade 3, there was this bully at my school..... He kept picking on me and my friends..... So one time, he finally pissed me off. I was tired of him talking trash about me, my friends, and my family, so I let it all out. My rage turned into power! I K.O'd him with a wicked right hook right SMACK in his ugly face! He fell to the ground, but I still wacked him! He never picked on anyone again, then he moved to another school! You've got to keep fighting back! Keep pushing! But don't like kill them or anything. Don't let your anger come out as mine did. That one beating I gave him was a fatal mistake. You have it in you, dudet.... Good luck and I APPRECIATE YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ THIS BIG THING!!!! Good luck for you in 2008. Never Ever Give Up!!!!!!