Is it worth saying sorry?

Around the middle of my freshman year of high school, (junior now) I was in the early stages of developing bipolar disorder. I guess it didn't help I hadn't been medicated for my ADHD (7th grade rebellion until 10th grade) so it was a lot worse...but anyways, the mania came in more waves after I got into a fist fight(some guy said somethin to me and I turned around and nailed him in the head...for no reason really, just paranoia?) around december....that's when I started to lie a lot when I didn't even know I did! I know I shouldn't blame it on a disorder, but come on...I didn't even know anything was wrong...I didn't even know what I was doing half the time cause I was always manic. Long story short, some kid who didn't like me at all(private school, city kids were looked down on cause we didn't have fancy cars and all that money) found out I was a big liar....well, that person twisted a lot around...and basically told my best friends if they didn't leave me, the person would leave them. I know, stupid, right? Well...I think I'm glad it all happened...cause I've learned a lot within a year of recovery. I don't have a lot of friends now, but I am okay with the people I have....but I'd really like to apologize to my old close close friends....i just don't know if its worth being ridiculed and I'm not entirely sure what to say...."hey (their name) I'm bipolar!" ya know..its not easy. But I'm stable now, I'm tired of hiding behind someone when I go to the local hangouts in fear of finding people who I was friends with. I don't know, in order for me to be 100% okay with my life, I feel like I have to apologize to a few...is it worth it? Would you forgive someone who lied a lot when you found out they're bipolar and since they didn't know it at the time..the mania got worse and that's what caused it?

And like I said (just in case of smart comments) I'm not trying to hide behind my disorders....I know now at 17 I've just had too much on my plate and I gotta face it all and take responsibility for it. My family hasn't supported me, but my girlfriend, her mom, and some of the friends I managed to keep over the years have help....they're why I learned I'm reliable for my actions. But since it was 2 years ago...I couldn't really stop it cause I was living in mania...and didn't even know it.

It seems to me that this means a lot to you and it is a good deed wanting to apologize for your previous behavior and also a sign of recovery and maturity, however you don't need to go into details, not everyone understands the condition and is really not their business, you may say it casually, we do many things during adolescence and then as adults realize that we made a mistake, with that in mind just a pat in the back and sorry if I ever hurt you in any way will do.
Good luck!

You don't owe anyone any excuses....but if you feel that you need to explain your past behavior, and they mean that much to you...and you can trust them...for support...then if you feel better to apologize, by all means do it...after all,God loves a peacemaker! They are the Children of God!

If it bothers you that much, you could certainly apologize. But the thing is, many kids your age don't understand too much about bipolar. Even if you explained it to them, they might hear it as you making an excuse (even though that's not what you're doing.)

It might be easier to say, "I'm sorry about XY and Z. I had a medical condition that made it hard for me to control my actions, but fortunately I'm doing much better now. So, sorry if I ticked you off." You could even just say "I'm sorry" and leave it at that. It's up to you...good luck! I think it's really nice you want to apologize.

sounds like you and your girl should go on vacation and get massages..we cant take back the past..all we can do is move forward to improve our lives..maybe it all was your way of protecting your self from all the nonesense..good luuuck though..pack lightly..I'm going on vacation soon just thinking of it makes me feel better.

Whether you were completely in control of yourself or not, you did do things that obviously hurt them, so yes, I think it would be a good idea for you to apologize. I would say something like, "Look, I want to apologize for saying (whatever you said that was a lie). I was really messed up at the time but that doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. I know it may be too late to save our friendship, but I just want you to know that I am sorry." Then the ball is in their court, they can forgive you or not, become your friend again or not, but you would have done the right thing. I think if you will feel better and be able to move on at that point, whether they accept your apology or not.

What doesnt kill ya, will only make you stronger. As I see it, you are not hiding behind your disorder BUT it was your disorder that made you lie and you didnt even know it when you were doing it. So how is that hiding behind anything. I have learnt a lot about bipolar in the last half year. One thing I learnt was when you are in a manic state, you know what your doing is somewhat wrong but you have no control over stopping it. Your true friends will remain your friends now and forever and if someone choses not to be your friend, its his lose and he was never your friend in the first place.

You dont state whether you continue to do your meds.

Anyway, you dont owe anyone an apology. Besides when your truly manic you hardly remember what you did or said so it would be rather awkward to apologize and a true friend doesnt need any apologies.

Good luck. Im hoping the best 4 u.