Adult diagnosis of ADHD in men...?

Curious here. Is it common for a man to be diagnosed with ADHD as an adult (at age 32)? And if so, what kind of Doctor would be the one to give the diagnosis? A counselor? A counselor with a PhD? Or a different doc?

A couple of years ago, my husband and I were having terrible problems. He physically threw me into a few walls in our house during a fight, and the courts ordered him to go to counseling. The counselor he went to prescribed him Celexa, an anti-depressant, and also told him he has ADHD. Is ADHD something you can "get" as you get older? I always thought it was a condition you were born with. I've done some reading on it, and I've known children who have it, and he doesn't show any signs of it at all. But now, when we fight he will use the ADHD as an excuse for his behavior. He refuses to see a doctor, or even another counselor, and refuses the concept of meds. The only difference in our fights now, is there not physical. But he gets nasty with words.

ADHD is not something that you develop as you get older, but it can be present for one's life without diagnosis. ADHD has an onset around the ages of 5 though 12, I believe. Babies do not have ADHD, merely genes for ADHD. ADHD medications can be unpleasant for many people who have from this disorder. A lot of people who have ADHD prefer to only take the medication on occasion, like when attending school or when doing a job that requires a certain level of attentiveness.

ADHD can also cause anxiety and depression in many people especially those who were not diagnosed until their adult years.

As for your husbands behaviour, he has no excuse. My fiance also has ADHD and yes, he does have rages (never directed towards me), but he knows it's something he needs to work on. A mental disorder is not a free pass to stop taking responsiblity for one's actions. In fact, if it's anything at all, it's a push to start taking greater responsibility.

Of course, he may be feeling helpless to his disorder. In that case, he should be willing to seek out help. Continue to support him or even push him to getting help, but first and foremost do not put yourself in danger. You do NOT deserve being treated like garbage. Do what you need to do and remember that your well being is important.

As for your doubts, ADHD in adults can appear very different than it does in children, because adults have had plenty of time to learn coping mechanisms and to fit in like camelions. I mean, in school, that adhd kid? Everyone hated. Adults with adhd learn how to pretend they're just like everyone else, so it's not so obvious. They also learn coping mechanisms in order to function in adult society. Most adults with ADHD will report their disorder being less severe in adulthood than it was in childhood.

yes, adults can have adhd, or add---see a dr. and he can refer you to testing----meds can help!

You do not harm those you love.

Abuse, both verbal and physical, is about control.

Do medically defined mental disorders contribute? Possibly.

But I think the issue here is that you are being abused.
You are the victim.

Your are in danger. Since he does not want to get help, nothing you do will change him.

A suggestion would be for you to call a Women's Shelter or abuse hotline for advice.

Consider seriously getting out of that situation.